A few weeks ago I had a girlfriend that I love a lot, but she left me to be with another guy. Seeing this causes me a lot of pain because we are high school classmates. I don’t know what to do. I am very frustrated because I love her, and it tears me up to see her with someone else.
My friends tell me that I should get wild and crazy, party, and hate her for it. But there is something inside me that won’t let me act like that. Everytime I try to follow their advice, I can’t follow through because I feel overwhelmed and begin to cry.
I know that I made a lot of mistakes and didn’t treat her as you should treat a woman… but nothing can be done about that now. She is with another, and I only want to know how to forgive and forget, not to harbor hatred or bitterness, and get past this because I have even attempted to take my own life.
It seems like you are more mature than your friends because you understand that neither hate, nor unforgiveness, nor a wild and crazy partying lifestyle will make you feel any better the next day. A mature person thinks about what he will be feeling tomorrow, and not only about what he is feeling today.
Please, promise us that you won’t try to take your life again. Right now it is impossible for you to see the wonderful future that lies ahead of you. If you were to take your life, you would be robbing yourself of so many opportunities! One of the many things that you cannot know now is if in a month, or in a year, the girl will regret what she has done and want to be your girlfriend again.
There are many marriages in which one spouse or the other went through a period, during their youth, as the boyfriend or girlfriend of someone else, but in the end, that other relationship helped them realize what they were missing, and they ultimately came back to the person that they married.
Even though it is not certain that this would happen in your case, you should get ready just in case. Concentrate on being the best person that you can be. Do not follow the advice of your friends. Don’t pursue the girl, nor try to know what is happening with her. It is better for her to be unaware that you still have feelings for her. If she were to know, she might feel pity for you instead of respect. When you do have contact with her in school, treat her with respect and friendliness, but don’t be too friendly.
The most important thing you can do is have a personal relationship with God so that He can give you supernatural wisdom to deal with all the problems that life will bring. If you have not accepted Christ as your Savior, we encourage you to do that. You can say a simple prayer, just as if you were speaking to a friend. When you pray asking Christ to come into your heart, you can do the following:
1. Admit that you are a sinner and confess your sins to God.
2. Ask God to forgive you for breaking His laws and to cleanse your heart of all sin.
3. Acknowledge that Christ is the Son of God, who died and rose again to save us.
4. Turn your life over to Christ, and make a personal committment to live for Him.
Please write to us again and let us know that you promise to never again attempt to kill yourself. Let us know how you are doing. You are very important to us.
May God help you, and fill you with His presence and His peace,