My situation is very embarrassing and very painful for me…. I know that I have to forgive; besides that, I don’t want to do anything to hurt my teenager. A few months ago, I discovered that my husband robbed cash from me on various occasions, as well as other things of value. What can I do? I thought about reporting him to the authorities; but he is the father of my son, and he can’t pay me back because he doesn’t have a job.
I let him stay in the house because… I don’t want my marriage to break up. What can I do about it? Obviously I am bitter and no longer trust him.
In an ideal marriage, the couple would share all money and valuables, so it would be impossible for one spouse to rob the other. For whatever reason, you and your husband do not share everything, but you do not say why, so we can only guess. You do say that your husband doesn’t have a job, but we have no way of knowing if it’s because he has a medical condition that makes him unable to work, or because he takes care of the home and meals so that you can work, or because he is lazy. Whatever the case, he obviously believes that he needs more money than you provide, so he has betrayed you by stealing from you.
We highly recommend that you find a good marriage counselor. Your problem did not begin with the stealing; it began with the fact that you cannot share with one another. Do you believe that your husband is lazy and should provide financial support for the home? If so, you may be trying to force him to get a job by not providing the money that he thinks he needs. Or maybe he has a gambling problem or a drug addiction problem, and you are trying to protect the family’s resources. Whatever the reasons, you need professional help. A few words of advice from us will be insufficient to resolve such serious issues.
In the meantime, you need to explain to your husband that he violated your trust by robbing from you, and that you can only assume that he has also lied to you about other matters. If he wants to regain your trust, he will need to be open and honest about his finances, his purchases, his activities, his online behaviors, and his cell phone calls and text messages. The evidence shows that he cannot be trusted, so he needs to work to change the evidence.
We applaud you for trying to keep your marriage intact in spite of your husband’s lack of integrity and character. You need the supernatural help that God can give you to forgive and, at the same time, protect yourself. Isn’t it amazing that God is willing to forgive us for all our sins, even though we often make the same mistakes over and over again? It is truly incredible that He continues to love us, even when we betray Him! Let God’s love be your guide.
We wish you well,