My mom and dad fight a lot because my mom thinks that my dad has another woman, and my dad insults my mom. I don’t know what to do. I think that you can help me know what I have to do or what I should say to my parents.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for having confidence in us. It is difficult to be a teenager and have parents who fight a lot, and you are desperate to make them stop. My parents had so many fights that they finally got divorced, but when my mother married my stepfather, not much time passed before they were fighting too. So I know how awful it feels and how you wish to find a way to have more peace in your home.

A certain amount of conflict between adults is to be expected. No two people can agree all the time, so they each have to be able to state their opinions and then find a way to compromise when they do not agree. Some emotion is expected in the discussion, especially when the opinion is something that the person feels strongly about, so this kind of argument is not really bad even though it may be unpleasant for you. But it would be better if they had their conflicts in private and did not force their children to be a part of them.

However, the kind of fighting that you describe is not healthy for the marriage or the family. You say that your mom accuses your dad of having another woman, and that your dad responds by insulting your mom. Of course we have no way of knowing if your mom is just the jealous type or whether your dad really does have another woman. If she has no proof that he is romantically involved with another woman, then it is very hurtful to accuse him of being unfaithful.

When your dad responds in anger and insults your mom, he is trying to focus the attention on her faults instead of his own. It might be that he is uncertain and insecure in other areas of his life, so he makes himself feel better and more powerful by making your mom seem weak and useless. Or he might be very angry with other people, but because he can’t tell those people how he feels, he comes home and mistreats your mom instead.

Unfortunately your parents are not likely to stop arguing no matter what you say. The best thing for you to do is to leave the room and listen to music or an audio book through headphones. Try not to listen to what they are saying. And make the decision that you will never have the kind of marriage your parents have, and that you will never let your children someday feel the way you feel now.

I made it through the difficult years in my parents’ home by asking Jesus Christ to come into my heart and be my best friend. He gave me the strength and help to survive the fighting and to make a better life for my children. If you ask Him, He will help you too.

We wish you the best,