My wife accused me of infidelity and she hit me…. I swore on the life of our son that it wasn’t true, but she didn’t believe me and had me forcibly removed from her house by the police because I wouldn’t let her hit me again….

I told my wife that I would do everything possible for my son, and now I have filed for divorce…. I want to be a model father even though I haven’t recovered yet. She takes every opportunity to insult me in social media and to shame me saying that I am a coward and a poor excuse for a man, and that really hurts me.

Dear Friend,

We are sorry about the breakup of your marriage, and especially for how we know it is affecting your son. He almost certainly loves his mom and his dad, and most likely feels torn between the two of you.

Every marriage has two spouses, and each of them has a different perspective of the problems between them. If your wife were the one telling this story, the details would be different. We have no way of knowing why the police came or why they removed you from the house, but we suspect that there was a little more to it than what you describe.

We also don’t know if the messages that your wife is sending you are shared with other people through social media, or if they are private messages to you alone. It is inappropriate for anyone to use social media to air their dirty laundry, even if the person who is writing is a completely innocent victim. It is also completely inexcusable to insult or demean someone in front of others, whether that be in a group setting or through social media.

Children are the big losers when their parents insult one another. It is like playing tug of war with the child’s body instead of a rope. One parent pulls one way and the other pulls the other way. It is no wonder that the child is hurt in the process!

We recommend that you do not respond to your wife’s insults or speak badly of her to your son. Instead, ignore the negative messages as if you had never seen them, treat her politely, and terminate the conversation quickly when she begins to call you names or insult you.

Jesus Christ taught that when someone slaps you on one cheek, you should offer to let that person slap you on the other cheek as well.(1) This teaching sounds unrealistic and naive, but Jesus taught it to show us a better way to respond. We encourage you to immediately begin following all the teachings of the Bible so that you can minimize the harm to your son.

We wish you the best,

1 Mt 5:39