Please forgive me for the way I say this, but there comes a point when you don’t know what is right or what is wrong. Hearing your messages, I would feel and see a possible world where God is love and all who love God are new human beings, or at least that’s what you want us to believe.
I grew up in a Christian home… where lives were supposed to have been changed upon meeting God…. In my twenty-eight years of life, I have seen no change in them…. How can I believe in God when I see that my parents are Christians, but not in the way they treat me? I believe that God is love, but I don’t see that love in my parents…. I think that I wasn’t born in a home; I was born in hell!
You are absolutely right about everything that you say. God, our Heavenly Father, is love, and all those who call themselves His children are supposed to be new human beings. God sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in order to pay the punishment that we deserve for our sins. Those who choose to accept and follow Christ are gradually changed. That is because the Holy Spirit, the third person in God’s family, comes and lives inside of us. As we pray and listen to God speaking to us through the Bible, the Holy Spirit changes who we are from the inside out.
So why weren’t your parents changed? Why did they appear to be Christians to everyone else, while you knew from personal experience that they weren’t genuine? Why are there people in churches everywhere who are pretending to be something that they are not? Why are there hypocrites who say one thing, but do something very different?
It would be nice if the church could see into each person’s heart and bar the door to keep out those who are hypocrites. And it would be even better if there were a way to give weekly quizzes to the church members to test if they are becoming more like our loving God, or if they just attend the church as they would attend a social club.
However, just because you go into a toy store does not prove that you have children. Everyone is allowed to go in, not just people who have kids. Likewise, everyone is allowed to go to a Christian church, even if some of the people do not have a genuine relationship with Christ.
Your childhood is a tragedy. I am so very sorry for your loss! However, it was not because God chose that life for you. It was your parents who chose each day whether or not to let the Holy Spirit change them. They chose not to pray personally and not to seek God’s will through reading the Bible. And they chose not to let the Holy Spirit fill them with God’s love.
You are not doomed to follow your parents’ example. You can be changed. And you can experience God’s love. We are praying that you will.
We wish you the best,