Until a few days ago, I was in a relationship with a guy that I’ve known for years. He was living in another country, but came to live in my country so that he could be with me. After a few months, he decided to leave because he didn’t like living here.

I supported his decision, but when he left I discovered that he was going with another woman, and now they are living together. He swore to me that he would come back soon, because I am pregnant, but he hasn’t written again….

I don’t know what to do. I’m all alone here, with my eleven-year-old son, and now with a high-risk pregnancy because I have high blood pressure. And he’s abandoned me. I can only pray to God that He will help me, because I’m having to deal with a lot of stuff on account of my error.

Dear Friend,

We congratulate you for recognizing that your problem is a natural consequence of having had a sexual relationship with a man to whom you were not married. You are right that it was a mistake. If you had never had physical relations with him, none of this would be happening. And you are right that the baby’s father is likely gone for good. He is out of reach of the judicial system in your country, which could have otherwise provided you with some economic relief.

But what can be done now? You can’t go back and change what happened, and keep from suffering the natural consequences. But is God angry at you? Is He punishing you for what you did? Of course not! He is disappointed and He grieves when we sin, but mostly He tries to remind us that we can be forgiven. Because He knew that we would sin, He paid the penalty for that sin in advance when He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross. If you accept Christ and the payment that He made for you, you will be completely forgiven and free of the sin. And you will be able to make future decisions with His help and according to His will.

We don’t know about your job or your financial resources. Do you have the resources to support another child? Do you have supportive family and friends who can help you with childcare? Can you give this baby a happy life without the help of the child’s father?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then we strongly encourage you to consider adoption as an option. Read Case 194 to find out what another woman did who was going through a situation that was similar to yours, and how it worked out for her. Also read Case 196 to learn about the feelings of a married woman who is desperate to adopt a child.

It is understandable that you are concerned about your health issues. We encourage you to take advantage of all the resources that the doctors offer you, including classes, nutritional counseling, and support groups. Those opportunities can help to keep both you and the baby safe.

We wish you the best,