I am the father of three girls…. Some nights they would sleep with my wife and me in the same bed. One night I got up and, I don’t know why, but I began to feel attracted to them. I didn’t tell my wife, but I’ve looked for help…. I know this isn’t normal, and I have also stayed away from home for fear of continuing to make the same mistake.

Dear Friend,

We are glad that you understand how important it is to get away from any temptation to do evil. You didn’t say that you acted or did anything as a result of the attraction you experienced, but just that you recognized that you were tempted. If that is truly all that happened, then we congratulate you for having self-control and for doing everything in your power to avoid a horrible mistake.

You also say that you have looked for help. Did you find any help? Have you spoken to a medical professional about your deviant feelings? We beg you to follow through and not only find medical help, but also cooperate and complete any treatment that is recommended. It is likely that there is a history behind your temptation that includes some contributing factors. You may not understand it all, but a trained professional can help you to understand and to avoid hurting or abusing a child, while simultaneously ruining your own life.

We encourage you to have regular visits with your daughters, making sure that you are always with a group and never alone with one of them. If you stay away from them completely, they will feel rejected by you, and that could be devastating for them. Also make sure to communicate with them often, showing interest in their school and extra-curricular activities.

In addition to medical help, we believe that you also need a cleansing of the mind. Even though the temptation alarmed you and you knew it was not normal, there are likely other thoughts that you may have excused and even encouraged. For example, do you view any type of pornography? Do you watch sexually explicit movies? These influences can change your thoughts in a slow and subtle way that you don’t even recognize. What you once believed was wrong can begin to seem less harmful or even “normal.”

The way to cleanse your mind is to ask Jesus Christ to forgive you for all your sins and to completely erase all that you have done wrong. But Christ will not overpower you; you will still be tempted to sin and have the opportunity to sin. Every day you will have to choose whether to keep your mind clean or to dwell on those things that are tempting you.

Put good thoughts into your clean mind. Read the Scriptures and memorize what the Apostle Paul wrote: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”(1) Constantly fill your mind with so many good thoughts that you have no time or energy left for the temptations that once plagued you.

We wish you the best,

1 Php 4:8