One of my cousins seduced me and, even though I was afraid, we ended up having physical relations. Two days ago, she told me that she is pregnant, but I already have a girlfriend. What should I do?

Dear Friend,

From the anonymous information that you have given us about yourself, we believe that you are seventeen years old. In some countries that would mean that you are still a minor, while in other countries you would be considered to be old enough to make major decisions for yourself. This complicates our answer to you, because there might be legal implications if you are still considered to be a minor in your country. That would be especially true if your cousin is older than you are.

Not knowing how old your cousin is complicates the situation in other ways as well. Since you say that she seduced you, we will assume that she is older than you are. However, we must add that you are still responsible for your actions, even though you believe that you were seduced, and even if she is older. Except in the case of rape, both of the people who have physical relations with one another are responsible for the consequences, no matter what the details are.

Just as a girl is responsible for giving in to the seduction of a boy, a boy is responsible for giving in to the seduction coming from a girl. And if the girl is around your age or younger, you will have a difficult time convincing anyone that you were seduced, instead of the other way around.

We don’t believe that you should be forced to marry your cousin because of the child, nor do we believe that you can just abdicate your responsibility. A child is a priceless treasure, not a problem that will go away if you ignore it. Therefore, we suggest that you go to your parents and tell them the truth. They will then probably talk with the relatives who are the parents of your cousin, and that’s good because the family needs to come together to work out a plan that is best for the child.

We suggest that you encourage them to consider placing the baby for adoption. There are countless childless couples who would want the child and give him or her a wonderful life. However, if your cousin is unwilling to place the child for adoption, then you will be morally and financially responsible for the child’s well-being until he or she becomes an adult. (If there is any possibility that someone else could be the child’s biological father, we don’t think it is wrong for you to insist on a DNA test before you assume responsibility. Your cousin could have seduced you so that she could name you as the baby’s father instead of some other boy.)

God will forgive you if you ask Him, but people aren’t so forgiving. Determine to do things God’s way, and He will give you the strength and wisdom you need for your future.

We wish you well,