I am twenty-seven years old and live with my girlfriend, who is twenty years old. We have a three-year-old daughter.
A few weeks ago, I was at the point of committing the worst crime that plagues our society today: the murder of my girlfriend, on account of some messages of hers on Facebook. What stopped me was looking at my daughter, which made me change my mind…. But last night, once again, while I was out drinking with my friends, they told me that the relationship between my girlfriend and the guy on Facebook was still going on.
I don’t know whether to believe her…. I want to be done with this. The shame is killing me!
It sounds like there are two emotions that are at war with each other in your mind. You love your daughter, but you feel shame for what you think your girlfriend is doing to you. Fortunately, up until the time that you told us your story, you had decided that love would win. But after being reminded of the shame that you feel, you aren’t sure anymore that love will prevail.
When your mind is dominated by emotion, you are not capable of making good choices. The brain chemicals that are produced by the emotions are interfering with your ability to think rationally and logically. You need to set aside those emotions long enough to deal with the facts.
In the first place, if your girlfriend is being honest, then she will have no problem with you looking through her social media accounts. We recommend that all married people, as well as couples who are in committed relationships, give each other all the passwords to their accounts. Once you can see your girlfriend’s messages and posts on social media, you will know what the truth is. Therefore, until you have seen it for yourself, we recommend that you set your emotions to one side, knowing that the whole thing could be a misunderstanding.
Did you know that messages from the past will appear again if another person comments on them? The appearance of a social media post does not mean that it is new. In fact, it could be very old.
It is also true that some acquaintances will purposely mislead you, especially if they have a grudge against you, your girlfriend, or a family member. But even those with no grudge may share a detail that they believe to be true even when they are not sure that it is.
If you find that your girlfriend has been communicating with another guy, you will be able to read the messages or posts for yourself and judge whether there is anything to the accusation against her. However, in absolutely no circumstance should you consider murder as one of your options. If you truly love your daughter, you will not take her mother away from her. Imagine the kind of life she would have with a dead mother and a father in prison.
The best option for you is to ask your Heavenly Father to help you. God wants to guide you in your current situation as well as in the future. He loves you and wants the best for you. In fact, He loves you so much that He sacrificed His Son on a cross to pay the penalty for your sin. The truth is that all of us have sinned, but only those of us who have asked God to forgive our sins can depend on His divine help.
We wish you well,