I had a daughter with a man who is a member of another church that I daresay is a cult. Before long I came to understand the magnitude of the consequences….
We still don’t live together. He insists that we should establish a home together and find a balance in our religions…. I often think that I should go live with him and make a home, but I am afraid that God would not agree or be pleased.
Yours is certainly a complicated situation. In many cases, we would advise the parents to get married so that they could provide stability for their children. However, in other cases one of the two parents could be an unsafe person for the other parent and for the children. This might be because of criminal behavior, substance abuse, irresponsible financial habits, mental illness, lack of self-control, or a number of other factors. Membership in a cult would definitely make someone unsafe.
The word “cult” can be used in many different contexts. For example, some people use the word “cult” to denigrate any religious group that is different from their own.
Strictly speaking, cults have certain characteristics in common. They each have a living person or small group of people who are the ultimate authority and don’t allow their members to question that authority or to express differing viewpoints. There is paranoia in the group about outsiders who are not members of the group, and anyone who decides to terminate his or her membership in the group is ostracized and defamed. Furthermore, the leaders are not financially accountable to the members, and tend to teach that they as leaders are exempt from accountability to laws or moral standards as well.
Whether or not your daughter’s father is actually involved in a cult, you are very wise to understand that differences in religious beliefs cause major problems in marriages. People who don’t even practice their religions can get very agitated when someone wants to indoctrinate their children in different religions and practices.
Agreeing to “balance” your religious practice with your daughter’s father will never work because you can’t suddenly begin believing in something just because someone wants you to, nor can you stop believing what you already believe.
More significantly, followers of Christ will practice a completely different lifestyle than those who are not Christ followers, primarily because of their belief in, or disregard for, the Bible. That is why the Apostle Paul taught that Christ followers should not bind themselves to those who are not followers of Christ. (1)
If you are a follower of Christ, but your daughter’s father is not, then we advise you to consult an attorney about a legal arrangement for child support and visitation. Then break off your romantic relationship completely and only speak to this man when you must make arrangements for him to see your daughter. It is wrong for you to give him any hope at all of a future with you if you know that you should not or will not marry him.
We wish you well,
1 2 Co 6:14 (CEV)