I met a girl on an online dating application. She is six years younger than I am. In the beginning, everything was just friendly. However, within two weeks we became intimate….
One day, in casual conversation, she started telling me about her past…. Something inside me sounded an alarm, so I decided to investigate. To my great surprise, I discovered that she had told me several lies…. I have never known a bigger liar than she is. I didn’t even know that she… had a boyfriend…. Why do people like this come into our lives?
We are very sorry to hear about your disillusionment, but you are very fortunate to have found out the truth before the relationship went any further. Your question as to why people like this come into our lives is a good one, but the answer is complicated. To narrow it down, let’s focus on people who come into our lives on the Internet.
You were disillusioned because you started with a false assumption. You believed that others you would meet on the Internet would be as honest as you are, or that you would be able to discern the dishonest ones. You are probably a smart guy, so you had confidence in your ability to find other honest people.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The Internet is full of people who pretend to be someone that they aren’t. Some are professional criminals, predators, and scammers. Others, on the other hand, simply take advantage of the anonymity to give themselves second chances and fresh starts, often hiding current and previous relationships, illegal behavior, and their true motivations.
To protect yourself on the Internet, you must assume that everyone is hiding something and make it your goal to discover what they are hiding. Instead of waiting weeks to investigate someone you meet, you must make it a habit to verify details before pursuing the friendship. Although it might sound harsh and cynical, the wise course of action is to never let your guard down.
As for the intimacy that you say you shared, hopefully you didn’t leave her with anything that she can sell or publish. You will be very fortunate if you suffer nothing more than a bruised ego from this mistake that you made.
Deceit and treachery are not new. In the first century, the Apostle Paul warned about these dangers, and he added that some people even invent new ways of doing evil.(1) He was right! With the expansion of the Internet into the everyday lives of much of the world, all kinds of new ways to do evil are being imagined and put into practice.
To learn more about how to keep yourself safe online, read Case 64. And, as Jesus Christ Himself taught us to pray, ask God to protect you from evil of every kind.(2)
We wish you well,