About six years ago I met a woman… and I ended up getting her pregnant…. From that time on, my life has been a nightmare…. I don’t know what to do. I think that leaving her is my best option.
My daughter is now five years old, and it hurts to think of abandoning her, but I know how her mother is, and I’m sure she won’t make it easy for me. She’s always upset, sometimes not speaking to me for days…. I have to confess that there have been occasions when I have not acted right, I imagine out of frustration…. I don’t have the nerve to abandon my daughter, but in this relationship it is difficult to imagine a future with her.
Dear Friend,
When we go through difficult times, it is counterproductive to try to imagine the future. Since the present comes before the future, it would be best for you to concentrate on the present, that is, on today and maybe tomorrow. Jesus Christ Himself said, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”(1) So follow Christ’s advice and concentrate on how to make today better.
Your daughter is an undiscovered treasure. She has so much potential that is yet to be seen! What will she be like at six, at ten, at fourteen? Will she sing, care about animals, or be interested in science? Will she want to be a doctor or an engineer?
There is much that we do not know about your daughter’s future, but what we know already is that she will be a very different girl if her father decides to stay in the home rather than abandon her. Many research studies have shown that girls without fathers in their homes have a higher risk of problems in school, of drug use, and of becoming pregnant as a teen.(2) They sometimes have abandonment issues that they have to deal with throughout their entire lives.
Consider this analogy: We can read the true stories of many men who have sought for treasure, often at great personal and financial risk. Just a scrap of a map or rumors of gold have caused them to risk everything for the chance of finding a treasure. You, on the other hand, already have the treasure in your arms! You don’t have to go looking for it or risk anything to find it. Your precious little girl is the treasure worth giving your life for.
It will take determination and self-control to change your focus from what you need to what your daughter needs. You have made mistakes in the past, but you don’t have to continue to make the wrong choices. You have a Heavenly Father who loves you and wants to help you change your life. He is ready to forgive you for all the ways that you have failed Him, and to give you the wisdom and the strength to do the right thing today, and then to go forward one day at a time. Speak to Him today through prayer, asking for forgiveness and for His help.(3)
We wish you well,
Linda
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1 Mt 6:34
2 National Fatherhood Initiative, “The Father Absence Crisis in America,” 2022 <https://135704.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/135704/2022%20Strengths%20Based%20Infographics/NFIFatherAbsenceInfoGraphic.pdf> Online 24 November 2024.
3 1 Jn 1:9